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When Your Friend Says They Are Never Drinking Again

Anyone who has ever tried to give up drinking, or goes somewhere and says they're non drinking, knows people encourage us to beverage and are unhappy when we don't. Why is this? Is it uniquely Australian? What can we exercise almost it?

The phenomenon of people experiencing pressure to drink in social situations has been identified in many countries around the world, not only in Australia.

Research on negative reactions to non-drinking and non-drinkers has been reported in countries including the The states, Mexico, Peru, New Zealand, Nihon, African countries, and Finland. Within countries, drinking norms as well frequently vary from 1 social or cultural group to some other.

Doing what our mates practice

In some groups, heavy drinking might be normal. In these groups, individuals' drinking can exist profoundly influenced by the stated or implicit norms around drinking.

Recent Victorian research institute "social drinkers", defined as people who have drinks in a social state of affairs exterior their domicile at least once a week, are more probable to have experienced force per unit area from others to potable than those who aren't social drinkers.

Pressure to beverage more was greater for those who were "risky drinkers" - that is, those who drank more than 6 standard drinks in ane session at least weekly. This is presumably because those of united states who drink more are more likely to detect ourselves in social groups where heavier drinking is the norm.

Most of the research on social and peer influences on drinking has been done with teenagers and college students. This is considering the influence of peers on our behaviour is strongest when we're teenagers.

There is prove that young adults who are more socially broken-hearted, or concerned nigh what others call up of them, are more decumbent to drinkable in a risky manner as a result.

The ability to resist peer influence seems to increment from most fourteen, although some research suggests our ability to stand upwardly for ourselves in the face of our mates doesn't increase much from age eighteen to thirty.

Research shows peers can influence our drinking practices both directly and indirectly. Direct influences tin be as overt every bit open encouragement to drink, buying someone a drink when they accept said they don't want i, or subtle gestures to drink up.

Indirect influences can be through modelling (observing others' behaviour) or through behavior about what is considered acceptable drinking behaviour. Nosotros compare our ain drinking behaviour with what is considered "normal" in our group.

Friends tin can make abstaining from alcohol very difficult. from world wide web.shutterstock.com

Why the pressure to drink?

It'southward difficult to find specific research on why our friends put pressure on usa to potable. But in that location are some general indications from social psychology and sociology regarding conformity and group mentality.

Essentially, nosotros are tribal social animals. From an evolutionary perspective, early on humans had to form social groups to hunt, gather food, protect each other and survive. As a upshot, we take evolved tendencies to support group cohesion past conforming to group norms and shunning not-conformity.

So if we tend to associate with people who are like united states of america and engage in similar behaviours, and we start doing things in a mode that goes confronting the group norms, such as not drinking in a social situation, this tin exist a challenge to the acceptability of that behaviour in the group.

As I say to clients in my clinical psychology practice, when you decide you desire to cut down or end drinking, information technology tin be a bit like you are holding upwardly a mirror to your mates that says "I've decided my drinking needs to change and peradventure y'all should look at your own drinking".

At an almost unconscious level, they tin can attempt and resolve this discomfort past encouraging y'all to start drinking again, simply like them. And of course, even if they might exist supportive of your intentions non to potable when they are sober, after they've had a few drinks, they may exist more than likely to put pressure level on you to drink.

What to do to avoid the peer pressure

Here are some tips for dealing with pressure to drink in social situations.

  1. Don't exist surprised if yous friends seem to undermine your efforts to cutting down your drinking. They're not necessarily trying to undermine you. They're probably just dealing with their own insecurities about their drinking.

  2. Plan for and rehearse how y'all will answer before you put yourself in that social drinking situation. Sometimes having a cover story, such equally "I'm on medication so I need to give drinking a rest" or "I'yard driving", tin can assistance in the curt term.

  3. Remind yourself of the reasons yous are cutting down or stopping drinking. A potent resolution to modify your drinking can be an important part of resisting pressure level to beverage.

  4. Think virtually who in the group might exist supportive of your decision to modify your drinking behaviour and consider making them an ally. You can speak to them beforehand, explain what you are trying to exercise, and tell them what you'd similar them to do to assist deal with any force per unit area from the grouping.

  5. In the drinking state of affairs, if people are buying rounds, either stay out of these or buy others alcoholic drinks when information technology's your plough to shout, but ask they buy you a not-alcoholic beverage.

  6. If they persist with putting pressure on you to beverage, you can exit the state of affairs. Yous might want to reflect on whether they are the kind of mates you want to be around when you're trying to modify your drinking behaviour.


Tip i originally said your friends may undermine your efforts to cutting down their drinking, instead of your drinking. This has been corrected.

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Source: https://theconversation.com/why-do-our-friends-want-us-to-drink-and-dislike-it-when-we-dont-68430

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